First Class - Struggles with Learning Disabilities and a Reflection on Autism in a Rural School

My first day of teaching was quite disorganized. Yesterday (Monday) the boys were busy cleaning out their classrooms since they hadn’t been used in a long time. We did lots of drawing and a few informal lessons but today was the first day of classes. However, all of the teachers, Khenpo, and the older boys were cleaning out the monastery and preparing for Buddha Jayanti (Buddha’s birthday festival this Friday). I was not told this but after eating breakfast together, Tulku took my hand and led me outside to his classroom and informed me that I should teach. Caught a bit off guard I tried to pull together a lesson. The grade one class has 10 people in it but the classes are determined by their levels in Tibetan, not English (or by age). In the grade one class is a boy named Karma who is 15 and excellent at English but he just became a monk a few weeks ago so he’s a total beginner in the Tibetan alphabet so he has been placed into the lowest class. There is another one named Dorji who has completed 10th grade in a normal school but has also just arrived at the monastery. Because of this, I was presented with a class of very mixed levels and mixed ages. The youngest was Tulku, who is 6, and the oldest was Ngima, who is 32 and has a learning disability. 

A challenge I had not anticipated with my teaching is working with students  with learning disabilities. There are two students in their thirties who are in class one and two but seem to have similar developmental ages as the rest of the children. There is another boy who was here with me last week that I have gotten to know pretty well. He is 13 and when I asked Khenpo why he had stayed here when all the boys his age went to the Mantra program, Khenpo told me, “his brain is broken”. He said they have been struggling for three years and have basically given up making any progress with him, saying at this point it is just torture to keep pushing him. He told me that he can’t even recognize the alphabet and has many social and emotional struggles. They barely have any teachers in general so it has been impossible for anyone to take the time to work separately with him and whenever they’ve tried they immediately run out of patience. In the week I spent with him I hadn’t noticed anything glaring but after Khenpo mentioned it I began to see certain patterns with his emotional regulation and a lot of struggle when I would ask him to write his name on his drawings.

Today in class I had all the boys draw a picture from the book we had just read – Frog and Toad. All the boys started drawing Frog and Toad sitting on their sled but he began to draw a house instead. I didn’t even notice until one of the other boys shouted at him in Nepali, probably something along the lines of you're doing it wrong, stupid! He immediately began to sob and start screaming at the other boy. After he finished shouting what I can only imagine were some nasty retorts he shut down completely, hiding his head. Startled and confused at what had happened I looked between two of them and the other boy turned to me saying, “Miss, you said to draw the picture in the book and he's drawing a house!”. I find myself struggling with what to do in this situation. I don’t have the skillset or experience of a special education teacher and even if I did I only have a few weeks with them. I really don’t want to be another person who gives up on him but no matter what I tried today he wouldn’t pick up his head or respond for the rest of class so I just let him be. I had nine other students waiting on me and the smallest ones had started hitting each other with their notebooks. 

Khenpo says they have tried everything with him but their definition of everything mostly includes a lot of shouting, scolding, and hitting. Because of this, I don’t have anywhere near a clean slate to work with. Not only is this a child who is very likely on the spectrum and clearly struggling, he also has a lot of trauma. He loves me as Sienna – the week we spent together drawing and playing with bubbles was great and he was always so happy – but the second we stepped into the classroom and I formally took on the role of teacher, rather than big sister, I could see him retreat. Even at the beginning of class when I had them all practice introducing themselves he hid his face in his hands and mumbled through his fingers nervously. When I have him practice the same thing before his turn blowing the bubbles or getting a new piece of paper to draw on he responds well and with excitement but in the classroom it was completely different. He remained completely shut down and no matter how much I tried to soothe him, tell him he didn’t do anything wrong and that he was doing a good job, or offer distractions, I couldn’t get him to budge. 

I know this maybe isn't my battle to fight. I don't have the tools, time, or capability to fix everything for him. I just hope that maybe I can find some small way for him to progress or some other skill he really enjoys and can focus on. I don’t want him to be stuck in class one forever, constantly scolded for something he doesn’t understand and being told he is “broken”. But I also know there's not much the monastery can do about it. They have very few teachers and they are trained in Buddhist philosophy, not early childhood education. I have talked with Khenpo and plan to talk more about some small ways to help (or avoid harming) students like this. I tried explaining he isn’t doing this because he just doesn’t want to learn or isn't trying hard enough, and things like hitting and yelling will only make the situation worse. Here, no one has even heard of terms like autism, adhd, or dyslexia but I know there are certainly a few students who are struggling with it. 

In the coming weeks I hope to have time to work one on one with him and other students who are struggling and to do so in ways that don’t feel like “class”. Luckily I have brought lots of art supplies, games, and picture books that they really enjoy. I know I won’t be able to magically have him remember the alphabet or erase the trauma and struggles he has but if I can give him a fraction more confidence when speaking and show him that there are things he is good at, that will be enough.